Friday, 19 October 2012


And the prize for toe curling, nauseating, self righteous, put you off your ginger latte hipocrysy goes to Starbuck's right out of Seattle.
  These are the guys who like to see themselves as the model for modern, caring corporate life. They are all for saving the Rain Forest and drenching you with their self proclaimed righteousness from the moment you walk through the door with their point of sale advertising telling us what they are doing to save our world.
  What they are NOT doing is paying taxes commensurate with the fortune they are raking in off our High Streets. They may, indeed, be making some small difference to the health of the rain forest but if they paid the taxes they should be paying a sane rate of tax they could be helping to pay for the health care for some of the inhabitant's of this country who have been lining their pockets for years but, through their convoluted accounting procedures which would make the average seem as straight as an hb pencil, they have contrived to pay an absolute pittance on the profits they have sucked out of the U.K
 They are not the only corporate bandits playing this game but they are all over our High Streets so the fact that they are so "in our face" makes their bare faced impudence all the more unbearable.
  People might argue that they create jobs etc. but if they closed all their outlets tomorrow and stormed off in a huff, rival British based outlets such as Costas and Cafe Nero would take over most of their shops AND pay their taxes. They have only gotten away with this because our useless politician's are either fawning over big business or letting them get away with "murder" - a happy medium is not a familiar concept to them. But owing to the press furore something may just be done this time and then we can go after Google and all those other other corporates who would rather control than serve. I would not advise you to hold your breath though.
 Just wish I had been a customer then I could have satisfaction of boycotting Starbucks!

My comic novella, The Balloon Man  In Edinburgh is available on Kindle from amazon

see below



  1. "I'll have a Large coffee."
    "Do you mean a Venti?"
    "What's a Venti?"
    "It's a large."
    "Why can't I just say 'Large'?"
    "Because we're Starbucks."
    "What? That's frikkin' stupid."
    "Well, Starbucks doesn't have 'Large' drinks. We have 'Ventis.'"
    "Because, for every 'V' we use, we send a penny to the rainforest."
    "Yes, we wrap a penny up and send it straight to Brazil. Not sure what they do with it. We just send it."
    "Sigh......okay, give me a Venti coffee."
    "Extra Rich, Brazilian, Hazelnut, Jamaican Monkey Blend, Espresso, Australian Beaver Cheese, Mango Twist, Mocha Orgasm, or Kona?"
    "Wait...what??? You made that up!"
    "Which part, sir?"
    "That part about Australian Beaver Cheese."
    "No, sir, beavers are well known coffee drinkers."
    "Says who?"
    "Which people?"
    "Beaver people."
    "And the cheese...?"
    "Same people, sir."
    "Well, I don't want that. Give me Dark Roast."
    "Decaf, half caff, third of a caff, or straight up?"
    "Sir? Sir? Crap, another customer for Dunkin Donuts. I wonder if it was something I said?"

    1. A MASTEPIECE AL! So much so I am going to publish it as a follow up post and claim it as my own, heh, heh. Seriously thanks for the effort and giving my humble ramblings some much needed credibility.

    2. My pleasure. Those pretentious gobnobbers at Starbucks always drive me to Dunkin' Donuts.

    3. Just came over from Al's post today - looking forward to hearing more from you.

  2. I can't drink coffee without hyperventilating... so I'm out of this loop entirely.

  3. I've never touched the stuff